Never underestimate the power of eBay to drive up those bids. Western civilisation may be in a Christmas shopping frenzy (see here and here for evidence), but that doesn't stop us sparing a few extra quid – 987 dollars and 55 cents of it, to be precise – on the chance to spend 10 minutes talking turkey (and stuffing, and maybe the odd brussels sprout) via Skype Video with American telly chef, Emeril Lagasse.

Emeril who, you say? Yes, well, he's not exactly imprinted himself on the British public consciousness in the manner of your Jamie Olivers or your Gordon effing Ramsays. But he's very big in Tucson, honest. And judging by his Wikipedia entry he's a bit of a card, with a CV including Crest toothpaste ads "in which he yells his trademark catchphrase, 'BAM!!!'", and a 1993 cookery programme called How to Boil Water.

The winning eBay bidder, 'mooresnatalie', has coughed up nearly a grand in American money (500 quid in home-grown wonga) for the privilege of Skype-chatting with the big man on 7 December.

Memo to Skype HQ: How about organising something similar with our lady of Cranberry, Delia Smith? Or that nice Mr James Martin off Strictly Come Dancing (2005 vintage)? Or Nigella for the lads, p'raps?